Today, waking up, I feel the hurt and the loss of the old blog. Especially when I find that 2 new persons have started to follow it. My own reasons for not continuing to write on that one, was because of not enough people took a interest for me to give it that much time of my life. But gaining two new followers on the night I decide to quit.. That is just BAD karma. It’s like telling me to go on for that last push, but at the same time.. I’m telling myself not to do it, because I’ve tried all night yesterday to come to grips with shutting down what’s been a huge part of my life for 2 months and I’m basically okay with it now. And then comes this.
I’m happy for the follow, but at the same time, I’m not so pleased because it makes my decision to turn away feel like a betrayal. How can I do this? To abandon my two month old baby? Makes me look at my decision with new eyes, and I’m torn between the feeling of it taking to much of my life, and the feeling that I’m letting not only my followers down but myself as well. Because it was my brainchild, and my creation.
This is quite agonising. But, I’ve got other problems in my life as well. There is a Huge wall in my kitchen that needs some tender love and care, and I don’t know what to do of it, because if I could I would do a wall painting, but reading my contract it says that I’m not allowed to use extreme colours and patterns, which is what I had in mind. And if I do it bad, I might have to pay the fine of redoing the wall when I move out. Damn. I’ve sent an email to my landlady to ask what it means for me and my wall. Plan B if the painting is going to be a bust, I’ll buy a plywood sheet of great size, screw that onto the wall, and paint on that instead. But then I have to find someone with the basic skills of drilling in concrete walls, and also have a friend or two to help me get it up.
My slice of heaven 