No hope for humanity, dystopian future, taking a stand.

My project is over, the big one. The one that made me work late 3 nights a week, and Saturdays as well just to get everything done in time. I’ve had the time of my life. I’ve listened to children’s stories in Farsi, Pashto, Dari, Russian, Thai, Somali, French. Also a bit of amazing poetry in French. I’ve enjoyed every moment of this last week. I’ve gotten my hammock up in the garden. Spent all of Sunday afternoon in it, gently swinging and loving the weather, the earth, the nature, humanity and feeling content with life.

Monday morning? Like a fist punched straight into my face. A highfive. In the face. With a skillet. Twice. The great election for EU was held this Sunday. I voted, and I voted goooood. But I did not expect the sombre and sad result that faced me when waking up. How horrible is this future? Political parties that openly suggest Ebola is a workable solution to immigration? That thinks women shouldn’t be allowed to vote? That Homosexuality is something to erase with bans and punishment? That registration of Jews should be done for everyone’s safety? When did this become something to strive for? Where have the progress gone? Where is Rosa Parks and M.L King? Where is Gandhi? Where is anyone? Someone who leads by example, who refuses take the kicks laying down. Where is my white knight to save me from this nightmare? Where is someone who dares to dream of a better tomorrow? Where does the rainbow end?

I love to read my dystopian novels. My sci-fi telling me about a future long since past. About how humanity destroys itself and a few revolutionaries dares to question the corrupt system. About dictatorships and single leaders taking charge when there is no one left to rule. About strife and horror, about finding the single thing that makes you take that one extra step. About people pushing themselves to the limit and beyond for belief of a better tomorrow. The books with the brave and misunderstood, the ones who stick it to the man and get away with it, and in the end turns out to be knights of the heart. People who give their lives for the greatest reason of all. Hope.

Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for a future worth living. Hope for a place where I can proudly raise my son or daughter to be happy for who they are. Regardless of taste in partners, religious believes, clothing, colour of the eyes, the way their noses look. I want a better future than the one shown today. I want to go to work not knowing that at least 3 people on my bus voted for a Party that tells everyone that different is bad. That what is not the same as you are to be blamed for everything wrong with your life.

I’m taking a stand here. In my pink couch. Sitting in my pyjamas. Bawling my eyes out. I hate you humanity. You suck. You need to get whacked in the face with a history book. Don’t let the history repeat itself. Don’t go gently into that night. Don’t become the hollow men. Don’t let the world end in a whimper. Go out with a bang. A simple act of Random Kindness is good, but not good enough. Take a stand. Say no like Rosa, dream like a King, educate like Gandhi and leave something better behind. Don’t join the dark side, the cookies aren’t real. I’m saying this isn’t the way to go. This is the three steps back. This is the line in the sand. No further. Don’t make it worse. Don’t. Do.

One piece of chaos at the time

Well.. yeah. There is a lot going on right now. Have a huge project at work that takes a lot of hours. It is awesome, and I love it, but at the same time.. I’ve already worked 4 hours more than I should this week, and I’ve still got 2 more days. So I’ll be landing on a 50 hour week. Do you understand why I’m not writing here as much as I would like? When I get home, there is a episode of Masterchef Australia, Love that show, or a couple of chapters from Harry Potter or Dresden Files. When I have a couple of hours free, and the sun is out, I try to do all the other stuff I need to do. Cleaning, laundry, cooking. Having at least some sort of social life. And my garden? Whushh.. That is one big project that needs attention big time.

I need new plants, that thrive in shadow, I need to cut the grass, get rid of all the million little stones from the plums that dropped last year. I need to dig up and get rid of three saplings. I need to.. I need to… Many many projects are screaming for my attention. Many of them deserves to have a lot of time devoted to them. Loads of them I can’t wait to get my hands around. I would love pottering around in my garden for a weekend, I would love to get a chance for another batch of soup, or slow-cooking pot of goulash.. I actually sat until 23 last night getting a frame ready to hang on the wall, and I need to find the time to put that one up, and get my violin strung and hung up as well.. I need to assemble my living room table. I need to unpack those two big boxes filled with my pocket books. I need to find the time to read my two different book-clubs book of the month. I’m already behind on the last one read. And soon I’m going on vacation and who knows how that is going to go. I’m not going to be at home for that part!

But I’m loving every second of it! Who wouldn’t?

All work, and All play

Have I mentioned that I love my work? That I go to the bus every morning with a smile on my face and anticipation in my steps? I don’t know if I can stop talking about it. It gives me so much opportunity to work on things I feel are important, not only for myself put for everyone. Well yes, sometimes there are manual labour tasks, that does bring down brain activity, and there are nights when I work late and it gets to be a bit dull. But then someone asks a question, and suddenly 30 minutes have passed and my co-worker comes stomping around and tells me it’s time to go home, and I find myself running around to keep up with the closing procedure.

Then there are moments when I get to meet people like I did today. Not only a person who I’ve talked to sometimes at the Library, helped with some stuff, and looked at me when I entered the Language Café and told me “I know you, don’t you work at the Library?” and then goes on to tell me about how nice it is that I took the initiative to go there and talks to me for a great while about all the stuff he thinks are possible to do. I then proceed to meet the person responsible for running the Language Café, a pastor, and end up having a 2 hour long conversation about all the positive things regarding multi culture, integration and possibilities to work together. Then I don’t care that I’ll be getting home later than 7 three days in a row. I don’t care that I haven’t gotten enough sleep for a few days (mostly my own fault for trying to read awesome books as well as work all day). Things like this give me so much energy! And apparently, a free dinner.

But yeah, I am tired now. It’s time for bed. But just wanted to tell you a little about the smile on my face, and give you a taste of the sweetness I’ve experienced tonight. And… Tell you about a great song.

Off the grid. Hiatsu. Going of the deep end.

I’ve been away for a few days. Before that, I worked late and got home to tired to write. But I’ve been having so much fun!

I got home yesterday, at nine, and just checked on a few things before turning into bed. Today, well, it’s the same time, but since I checked the most important stuff yesterday… I just feel I’ve got the time for a short post anyway.

I’ve been to Denmark, Copenhagen. I’ve visited castles, and museums. I’ve seen important statues, and less important ones. I’ve been soaking in sun, and drinking both beer and cocktails. I’ve been swimming in the hotel pool, stuffing myself at the breakfast-buffet. I’ve been listening to a great book when waiting for my friend to wake up, and then finding myself huffing and puffing to keep up when walking around the town. I’ve been surprised at the shoddy standard in service at a great and expensive(ish) restaurant, and happy for the great service at an unexpected place.

I’ve seen sharks, and cute Danish boys. I’ve eaten ice-cream and drunk tea late at night. I’ve watched a new movie, and a old one. I’ve revisited a old favourite museum, and a few new ones. I’ve been walking in parks, and trying to remember the names of plants. I’ve been sitting and talking with my friend in the sun, and enjoyed a jacuzzi.

It’s been a great, short, hectic couple of days. I would love to do it again. But not for a few days. My bruises are still visible, my feet still a bit tender, and my wallet thin. My fridge is full as of this evenings emergency-shopping,  as well as my belly thanks to Teapot and her dinner invitation. My bed is inviting and my brain a blissful mix of new ideas and thoughts. Need to land before I run of to the next adventure.

Join me?

One day at the time

Right now I’m pretty tired. The third day in as many days that I’ve worked the closing shift. And I’ve got to work tomorrow all day as well. My brain is tired right now. I’m tired. But also very content. I’m happy to be alive. I Love my job. Today have been a mix between cleaning up in the Fantasy-Sci-fi-Horror shelf, so that I next week can start on the whole project of going through the other shelves and pick out the good stuff that have gotten to some other shelf when it shouldn’t. Nobody have really done anything in this genre the last few years. So I’m doing it.

I’ve also been working on the booksale, a whole years collection of books that have done their duty on our shelf. We can’t throw it all away when we need new space, so apparently, a whole week of the year, we sell it of at a low price, and we use the money for new books. A few at least. We sell them REALLY cheap. But working with that involves a lot of dragging dusty boxes through the basement and heavy lifting. Worked there for about 3 hours today.

But the best today was when I got to talk to an old lady who grew up in Japan. That was awesome. We talked for 30 minutes about the food, the loss of the language when we don’t have the opportunity to use it here, Japanese popular culture, and things we miss. Love it that the conversation was both in Japanese and Swedish.

The rest of the evening I’m going to try reading for a while. But I think the bed does have the advantage on me. *yawn* But first I’m going to listen to an old favourite. I loved the first time I heard it, and whenever I’m happy and in a Japanese flow I always end up humming to this tune..

Reciting, Reflecting, Reading, Reacting. Love.

Found out this morning that April is the month of Poetry. Or maybe I did know it before. It felt like old news, but I hadn’t stopped and reflected on it before. I did so this morning, and yeah, it kinda makes sense, I’ve been listening to a lot of poetry these last couple of weeks. Here is one.

And then I got to work. Read a few stories in preparation for tonightst big event where I was supposed to read a few aloud to the few that dared to stop life and sit down and listen to something. I had loads of stories from different books prepared, but in the end, only had time for two. Not that it seemed to matter. I can keep the ones I didn’t have time to read until the next time. Because there will be. But next time, the theme will be about travelling and discovering. It’s going to be great.

All in all, it’s been a great day. A bit of slow morning, and then work. I missed it for those few days I’ve been away. I like going to work because of awesome colleagues and interesting people and tasks. And just because Tennant was the guy reciting this morning, when I discovered that the poem month was nearly over, and I have the biggest crush on him. Here is something else.

Homecoming Queen

I got home last night. Nothing to eat, so got out and got some food. Found Teapot on a bike, stayed to chat and gossip for a while, but then I got home (again) and what a glorious feeling. Being in my own place, it is pretty spectacular. I curled up in the couch with a cup of tea and just enjoyed being home last night. I unpacked part of my stuff, but then I got no further.

I loved being in the big apple, saying hello to mum, watching the cherry blossoms in the park with friends, sitting in the sun and drinking tea with another, it is a good life. But at the same time, I missed my flat where I’ve got my stuff where I like them. Where I can run around a whole day in pyjama. Where I can sit and read in the couch for how long as I want to without my sister waking up and deciding to watch the telly. I love how my flat actually doesn’t get up to 30 degrees because it’s sunny outside. Mom loves the heat, and the house is designed around that. Which makes me sweat just thinking about it.

I love my mothers garden where some new treasure may always be found. I love the chaos that comes with a mom who got a million things on her mind, a husband who loves technology, three siblings and a dog. Things never stop happening. And there is always something going on, something giving of sounds, something moving. The kitchen turns into a mess with a five minute window, Mom’s cooking leaves me breathless, and I just sit there soaking in the love that surrounds the whole house. But I kind of like my own space as well. I love having a quite corner where I can sit and read without anyone disturbing, my own bed, at mom’s place I’ve got a couch.

I don’t think I’m complaining, but rather, I try to show that love both styles of life. Both the hectic chaotic life of family that never stands still. And the simple, slow life of a librarian who loves to spend evenings in the sofa with a book and a cup of tea.

Ying and Yang. Balance. *Bows deep*

Mother nature.

Spent a few days up here in the big apple with family. In itself is kinda awesome. I’ve had time to rest and relax. Being bathed in the love only family can give. I’ve read 2 books, one old, one new. Both really good. I’ve gone for a walk in the forrest with mother and her dog. I’ve gone visiting the churchyard and said hello to family and friends on the other side. I’ve woken up early, gone to bed with wine spinning my head. I’ve gotten sunburn and my neck still hurts. I’ve talked for hours with Boobie (a friend, not the body-part).  I’ve sat in the hidden oasis of a buzzing part of town. I’ve eaten ice-cream in the sun, and meat from the grill with potatoes and love. I’ve teased my siblings, and hugged them alot. Miss them even if I can’t wait for them to grow up and do grown up things instead of running around and annoy the hell out of me. I’ve had my fingers in the dirt and felt the power of the earth and Mother nature. I’ve hug my little granny and sung songs of praise both to the Lord, since he managed to be the first christian Zombie. Rejoice!

I’ve eaten until I’ve hardly been able to breath. I’ve drunk loads of wonderfull wine and beer. I’ve bought books and spent a wonderful morning in my favourite bookshop, just being happy for being alive. I’ve sung even more songs of praise to the alcoholic beverages as a part of an oral tradition that we have in Sweden called Nubbevisor. I’ve helped mom with a waterfeature in her garden.

I have a few things left to do before I go back home to my small town. I stll have to meet another one of my friends. We are going to exchange books, I get back some of mine, and she’ll get some others of mine. I might help my mother again with the waterfeature, re-arrange the whole thing instead of just trying to path and mend. I still have to try to find my Enigma (yes, another friend) and see if she is available for a cup of tea. I’m still going to just be thankful of my wonderful family, and the very relaxed but catastropich chaos that reigns supreem in mothers house. I love the dishwasher and her cooking. I love that I can be here and don’t have to care about going for walkies with the dustbunnies back home. Even if the dog here does fill the same position.

The journey begins.

It’s time now. Time to go home. Or rather, go back home to visit family. Easter and all. I’m going by bus, and apparently a new co-worker, let’s call him The Clone, because we have one already at work with the same name, is going to be on the same bus for other reasons.

 

Things I need to Do before I Go

Water my plants
Make bentou
Pack a bag with stuff I need
Make my bed
Eat breakfast

Things I DON’T need to DO before I GO

The last dishes
Write a post on the blog and waste time
Decide what books to bring (I’m going to buy many many MANY books up there)
Watch another episode of Sliders

The plan is to have a plan tomorrow.

I’ve been having the best day. Long, but still great. There have been some palm-readings, some tarot-readings. Paintings and making my hair stand on edge, and I still have to brush out the mess. But I’ll do that tomorrow. Right now I’m tired and since I’m getting up extra early tomorrow, I deserve to not do it tonight.

I’m nearing the end of book 4 in the Harry potter suite. Listening at bedtime, as a alarm-clock, and when I cook or putter around in the kitchen is great. I’m going to be away for the weekend and visit family. If I could chose, Easter would be abolished. I just don’t get it. I love the candy, but I love candy all year around and don’t wait around for it to eat as I want. The bunnies and eggs doesn’t make sense. But I love the tradition about the witches. But that’s only because I love the magic.

And here is something that’s been stuck in my head all day.