Monster under my bed. Fear of the dark.

Yeah. A few days ago, I watched the short movie Lights Out. Scared the living hell out of me. And these past few nights it has kept me up, and giving me quite the hell when deciding to go sleep.

I’m not sure why, but most of the time I’m not afraid of the dark. I don’t like it as such, but I’m not crawling around with a industrial strength torch either. I’m kinda ambivalent about it, normally. But what I do have is a overly active imagination. That does give me some grief. Normally, I walk around in the dark of my flat when I’m tired, because having the lights on is just a wast of energy. I pretty good at navigating around my flat without seeing, and doing stuff without light. I think that comes from a fascination with blindness and considering my eyes, or rather my sight, to be the first thing I would like to lose if it’s a choice of taking away a sense. Sometimes when I’m walking outside, on a street that I use on a fairly daily basis, I often close my eyes and see how long I can walk without slowing down, or stopping, or bumping into things. Testing my nerves, my other sense and consider myself a mystic from some fantasy-novel. The blind warrior type.

But yeah, sometimes my imagination rapes my sense of well-being. I’ve slept with a big pointy spear next to my pillow for the last few days, and had the lights on, and not being able to shake that less than 3 minutes long movie. I don’t think of it all day, and only when going to brush my teeth and readying myself for bed does the thoughts crawl in. What if the monsters are real? And all those horrible things I’ve seen are true? My mind goes to the dark place of my fantasy. And then I hug my spear and goes to sleep thinking if something comes for me, it’s going to taste me wrath before my panic. But I’ve got to stop using weapons in case of monsters, as a blankie. I’ve got to develop my inner mutant strength instead.  I’m hoping for manipulation of air, so that I can become a sniper who uses bullets that no-one can ever find. No sharp spear for me tonight. If I don’t post anything tomorrow, you all know the monster who ate me.