A few nights offline, a few drinks with friends, a few experiments.

I feel that being out of the loop of writing for a few days, I have trouble starting. What does one say if one keeps a blog and then don’t find the time to write? Does one confess to the laziness? Blames it on other interest such as reading? Other duties such as cleaning? Do I tell you that I didn’t bring my computer to my grandma’s place because I knew the horrible internet connection they (don’t) have. Do I give you a taste of what I’ve been doing for the last few days by a couple of videos? How to start this?

Since last time, at work: nothing exotic, crazy, sexy or fantastic have happen. I’ve had fun, I’ve been bored. Regular work I think one could call it.

Since last time, regarding monsters: I’m able to sleep without a skewer by my pillow, but this Saturday at the flea market I bought 2 very pretty African knives longer than my forearm, FOR NOTHING. And I’ll try to keep them handy. In case of Zombies. Still not entirely happy when thinking about the Lights out video. But I’ve started to walk around in the dark without screaming.

Since last time, regarding Limoncellon: I finished it today, and invited my now friend, ex-co-worker, to have a go with me. Tasting if you want. And a few glasses later, we realized the clock was spinning much faster than it should, I gave her a Buddha to polish and promised a dinner in the future as payment.

Since last time, regarding Ice-cream: I talked to another co-worker this Friday, about making a cacti-lime sorbet. And the thought stuck, so I tried it today, and it WAS AMAZING! And that is not only because we were into a second glass of limoncello by this time. I fregging LOVE my new machine ^^

Since last time, regarding happiness: This morning was pretty hard, for a moment there I wanted to scream, and then punch someone, and then find a suitable rock to spend the rest of my life under. But then came lunch, yet another co-worker with the coolest beard and a moustache in the shape of batman, and a great afternoon. I’m back to squealing and singing and dancing.

Since last time, regarding friends: A co-worker had her last day today, and is therefore a official FRIEND more then co-worker now. I went to a flea market and a had a nice long tea-break with another friend. She was supposed to come try the limoncello as well tonight. But she decided to apply for many, many. many jobs today, and we will be drunk on Wednesday instead.

Since last time, regarding books: I’ve started Harry Potter suite, read by Stphn Fry. He is my hero. Sthpn Fry, not HP, even if he is a cool wizard, but he is fictional and Stphn Fry is a real person. Is that racist?

Since last time, regarding family: Visited my grandma and grandpa this weekend. And my Aunt, and my cousin, and there was roast beef, wonderful potatos and free food which I did neither have to cook or clean up after.

Since last time, regarding many other things: I’ve had a busy few days. And at the same time, not at all.

Does one end the same way as one started on a spastic and irregular post as this? Do I blame the yawns that brings tears to my eyes? The limoncello that makes the room spin, the last few chapters of HP 2, work tomorrow or some fable regarding witching hour? Do I tell you about the pile of unanswered letters, the mountain of madness in my kitchen and the empty space in my fridge where my bentous should be if I was a better person? Do I tell you about my plan for Saturday, and how I’m thinking about palm-reading and Tarot? Do I tell you that the munchies have set in, and I fear that I’ll have to make a sandwich before I try to sleep?

Monster under my bed. Fear of the dark.

Yeah. A few days ago, I watched the short movie Lights Out. Scared the living hell out of me. And these past few nights it has kept me up, and giving me quite the hell when deciding to go sleep.

I’m not sure why, but most of the time I’m not afraid of the dark. I don’t like it as such, but I’m not crawling around with a industrial strength torch either. I’m kinda ambivalent about it, normally. But what I do have is a overly active imagination. That does give me some grief. Normally, I walk around in the dark of my flat when I’m tired, because having the lights on is just a wast of energy. I pretty good at navigating around my flat without seeing, and doing stuff without light. I think that comes from a fascination with blindness and considering my eyes, or rather my sight, to be the first thing I would like to lose if it’s a choice of taking away a sense. Sometimes when I’m walking outside, on a street that I use on a fairly daily basis, I often close my eyes and see how long I can walk without slowing down, or stopping, or bumping into things. Testing my nerves, my other sense and consider myself a mystic from some fantasy-novel. The blind warrior type.

But yeah, sometimes my imagination rapes my sense of well-being. I’ve slept with a big pointy spear next to my pillow for the last few days, and had the lights on, and not being able to shake that less than 3 minutes long movie. I don’t think of it all day, and only when going to brush my teeth and readying myself for bed does the thoughts crawl in. What if the monsters are real? And all those horrible things I’ve seen are true? My mind goes to the dark place of my fantasy. And then I hug my spear and goes to sleep thinking if something comes for me, it’s going to taste me wrath before my panic. But I’ve got to stop using weapons in case of monsters, as a blankie. I’ve got to develop my inner mutant strength instead.  I’m hoping for manipulation of air, so that I can become a sniper who uses bullets that no-one can ever find. No sharp spear for me tonight. If I don’t post anything tomorrow, you all know the monster who ate me.

Dancing in the rain. Brainfreeze. Burning.

I’ve been shamefully happy today. Going around singing, skipping, skidding, sliding, not jumping. It’s been one of those days where everything has been good, great or better. I think it started with the ice cream machine this morning.. I made Lemon sorbet, and couldn’t stop tasting it. Just one more spoon. I wrote a very long letter in reply of a even longer one. I went to work and had great fun.

Rain and snow and sleet and storm outside made the library empty and the few who braved the weather only made quick visits and then out into the storm again. Not much to do. I tried to do some Owl-paintings. Turned out moderate, the first one was real cute. At closing, I chose some really nice music. I have told you that 5 minutes before closing we put the music on to show everyone still there, that something is happening, please take notice. I chose an old favourite of mine. Magnus Uggla, a guy with loads of character and hilarious lyrics. Dancing around in the library, we closed up pretty fast.

After having a soda at the local snack bar whilst waiting for the bus, and writing another letter, I tried to convince a friend to join me in Japan for Christmas. And then went straight for my sorbet. And my Gawd was if yummy! Even if I got a huge brainfreeze in the middle, it was delicious! And now I’m going to try get the song of today out of my head. This one I’ve been humming all day long. Maybe I should consider why? Am I Darth Vader?

Lemons. Too many, or too few?

A few weeks (?) ago a friend was here. Or rather, many friends was here, but one on a more permanent basis since she slept on my floor. We bought lemons to make taco, and for me to have to a lemon meringue pie later, because, lemon meringue pie is the food for Queens.

It never happened. The pie. Time has flown by and I realised yesterday that I still had 7 lemons in my fridge. So I started to fantasise what to do with them. Too many for a pie, not enough for 2, and then I found a simple recipe for Limoncello that had the same amount of lemons that I needed to get rid off. So, yeah. Today I bought myself a vodka, and peeled the shit out of those lemons. And now it kind of looks like art. Something made for summer. And it’s going to stand there and look pretty all week. because it needs that amount of time to soak the lemons soul into the alcohol. My flat smells of lemons and summer.

And afterwards, I squeezed the juice out, and yeah.. I bought a ice-cream machine today. Kind on a whim. I don’t need one. But I remember the awesome taste of lemon sorbet that I made at new year from my cousins machine. And doing the Limoncello I’m going to have all the juice over. So I’m going to have lemon sorbet for breakfast tomorrow. Because.

The end of a good life. Or what to do with my life now? Or, what to read next.

I have had a quite slow start this year with the books. I’ve been stuck with various TV shows and doing Goddess knows what. Books have been piling up, and I’ve not given myself the time to read. Or wanted it. I get my moments when I need to reboot my brain from books. Take a break and indulge in a lesser entertainment, such as watching a brand new show on the telly.

But these last few weeks have been showing a increase of the reading. I’ve gone through 5 this week. And I’ve still got the rest of today to go through some more. Maybe just one more. Or two, depending on the thickness.

Last night I started on book number 9 of the Shadows of the Apt series. Quite the slow start, but then. Wow. Suddenly the clock was midnight, and I was so tired I considered not moving until morning, using my book as a pillow. But I got up, brushed teeth, and then gathered a various assembly of weapons and went to bed to await the monster from the movie to eat me. Spent at least 10 minutes saying calming mantras and seeing shapes creeping around my floor. Then I decided they would eat me another night, turned around and fell asleep.

This morning, I woke up at 7, and couldn’t stop thinking of my book. So I started to read before I even got some pyjamas on. And then the time flew again. Now it’s after 10, the book is finished, and I’m going to go do my breakfast in a minute. I’ve got the tea steeping already. But this book then. I’m traumatized. It’s the mark of a really good book, when you finish it, you are empty because you are no longer in that world. When you realize it was just a book and not reality.

Frustrating to think about that the finishing volume of the series is scheduled to be released in June. How will I survive until then?! I’m hungry, I’m not thinking straight. I should go do some mind numbing thing for a while now just to scrub the latest trauma off my mind. Then on to the next book. The next life. The next world.

Ruin.

I’ve actually had a pretty good day. Finally getting to the bottom of my kitchen counter. Haven’t seen that since the day I moved in and plonked down the toolbox on it. Now it’s moved into the cupboard of good things to use whenever. Such as the vacuum, extra toilet paper, apron and candles. That freed up a lot of space, and now my kitchen looks positively empty. Well, yeah, a few things left to wash before I’m completely done, but it’s already empty, so I’ll leave it for tomorrow.

I had cake with my partner in crime, as a way of thanking her for the loan of the stool that I used for the last stretch of the wall mural. Not that I made the cake myself, it was the cake from work. Still yummy. And afterwards we went grocery shopping together. My breakfast would have been sad if I hadn’t. Like crackers and carrots sad. Because that was all I had left.

But the one thing I wish I hadn’t done today was watching a very short horror film. Under 3 minutes, and I know I’ll have trouble sleeping for the next couple of nights. I’m already feeling paranoid in my flat, and it’s a few hours left until I’m turning off the lights. Plenty of opportunity to kill myself as a alternative ending to be eaten by a monster.

The perks of being a librarian.

Not only am I allowed to work with people who consider literacy is of grave importance, but also believes in individuality and the possibilities that comes with culture and exchanges of thoughts. Not only am I surrounded by books that invites to exploration of thought, of ideas and gives me the option to live several lives in several worlds. Not only do I get to meet the most interesting people, I also have the possibility to make someone’s day better. I have the possibilities to show the world to someone.

But tonight I have the perk of having three pieces of cake in my fridge after a rather nice but busy evening when the YA section had a opening ceremony with free cake, soda and coffee. And of course, we kept giving away what was left after the ceremony was over, and the hours kept going later. But at closing time, three pieces of cake was left. So I cleaned away the coffee stains, poured the last soda out of the bottles, washed the tray and then packed the three pieces for going into the fridge. But then my bearded co-worker told me to take it home with me, nothing to save. Three pieces is not going to feed the entire staff tomorrow, and there is no possibility to sell it. So rather than throwing it out, or creating a boxing-event where the winner is going to take it all at 9:30 coffee tomorrow, my long day ended with me carrying three pieces of, hopefully not too, stale cake.

The perks is great, and sometimes you even get cake. And also some new music. I got this after having a quite nice discussion with one of the art-gallery co-workers, and her question if I knew any steampunk music. I did not, but my favourite hangout on FB did know some.. And I’m a happy girl right now ^^ Cake and music. Can it become any better?

Engage hyperdrive, warpspeed, lightspeed, wormhole.

It feels like my life has suddenly gone into fast mode. Or maybe I’ve just lost myself in a good book (or 4). I’ve gone to work, come home, read, flung around on the web, started a book-reading club as a part of a community, booked a trip to Copenhagen. What I haven’t done is clean my flat, part for a small vacuum to get rid of eraser gum-filth from my wall mural. I haven’t done the dishes that is starting to look like the mountain Mohammed visited. I haven’t answered all my letters from my pen pals. Just half. The rest are looking at me with sad eyes. I haven’t done any kind of grocery shopping, and my cupboard is starting to echo slightly. I haven’t done any cooking, because who is hungry when one reads a good book? It’s enough sustenance just to read.

Today I have to do my pancakes. I’m going US. of A on these, because I love them with maple syrup. And a few weeks back I was invited to my partner in crimes place and she had bought a jar of it, but decided she loathed the taste. So I got it instead. Yay! Free maple syrup! But at the moment, I’m still doing everything BUT the things I kinda need to do.

I have had a shower. That’s about it. That is my level of achievement this morning, or rather, these last few days. There has been loads of things going on, but at the same time, not enough, or maybe the time when I can calm down and reflect on my life has been missing?

Anyway. I’m about to go do some good now. I’m going to order a pair of stockings for when I’m to be a Witch for work. I’m going to impersonate Baba Yaga and hopefully not scare the small children out of their minds. I’m hoping for at least a few witchery giggles, which landed me the job, but hopefully just a grand time. 2 weeks left until then. I’m also going to try answer at least 2 more letters, and do one quick wash of the most pressing dishes. And then do my pancakes. Because I have the feeling my books might arrive today, and they might be to big to get into my door-slot for mail, so the postman might ring the doorbell for me to answer. Got to be home for that. Usually I can catch him on Tuesdays because I start work later this day. My first late night of the week.

But maybe I should start with something simple. As finding a pair of pants.. Pants are good.

It’s done.

I’ve done it. My wall is done. The endless hours of waiting for it to dry so that I could continue, the sketching, the painting, the refilling, it’s all over. This afternoon I took some time, and sat for two hours and painted the last bit. My arms are still hurting, but it was worth it. I’m so pleased with both the motif and how it seems to fit both my flat and my soul.

I’ll have many a nice breakfasts here.

A hectic day that ends with a big smile!

Don’t let me start on work and how that had a million and one things to do, made me go into apathy a few times, and kept me on my toes all day. Which is kind of exhausting when one have a long day, working from 8-7. But it was great fun all in all. Even if I had trouble summoning energy for a few episodes.

But all in all, pretty awesome day. And then I got to pick up two packages that I’ve been looking forward to. One with cool t-shirts, one of which says “Legalize gay robot marriage, before they kill us with their laser beams”. Should give you a thought of the rest of them. I’m thinking of wearing one of them to work tomorrow, but not necessarily decided on that yet. I think they need to be washed before that. And I got my two Russian shawls I bought last week. Not only because I’m going to be Baba Yaga for the kids at work a few weeks into the future, but because Russian shawls are pretty awesome. One big black with a beautiful pattern of mostly lilac and blue. And a turquoise with a pattern of beige, yellow, brown and red. I like them both pretty much. And as I’m writing, I’m also wearing one of my new t-shirts.

But the pudding on the cake, the icing on the marshmallow, the fireworks on my birthday, was the quite shy man, who gave me a note as I came out after getting my packages at the store and gave me a handwritten note with the nice words of “You are pretty. I become happy every time I see you”. With a smile on my face I put the note on my fridge, and now I’m going to take a early night, because, even if I’m happy as can be, and giddy from the note, I’m tired, and tomorrow deserves the attention it needs to make it another awesome day!

“Just idag är jag Stark”,” Exactly Today I’m Strong” / Translation – Google. Lazy me.

“Exactly today I’m strong/ exactly today I feel good
I am carried forward by strong winds.
Exactly today I’m strong/ exactly today I feel good.
I have the belief in myself by my side.

I have waited so long for exactly this day/ and it’s so nice that it finally comes.
Waited so long for exactly this day/ it gives joy when it comes.

I watch the escape of the gulls/ I watch the dance of the sun rays.
I look forward to lovely times.
I watch the step of the women /I watch the gloss of the eyes.
I have the belief in myself by my side.

I have waited so long for exactly this day/ and it’s so nice that it finally comes.
Waited so long for exactly this day,/ it gives joy when it comes.

I hear laughing children/ I hear the roar of the sluices.
I belong to the few who can live.
I hear inner music/ I hear the soughing of the winds.
I have the belief in myself by my side.

I have waited so long for exactly this day/ and it’s so nice that it finally comes.
Waited so long for exactly this day/ it gives joy when it comes.”